$ex Panther earrings.

65% of the time...they work every time.


PS i try to keep this site "cuss free" so Hambone can read it at work.
If I ever get flagged and she can't read it ahora miso, I'll never forgive myself.

Out with the New.

So late yesterday the New Girl (she's been here for two years, but who's counting) runs into my office (cubicle) with wide eyes and pointing to a red-penned note with the word "SH I T." written across it and motioning for me to come downstairs.

Apparently the night before she had printed her resume on the community printer after everyone had gone home and got side-tracked so she never picked it out of the tray.

She had completely forgotten about it until Tits Magee (her superior) placed her resume and college transcripts into her mail slot this afternoon.

Ol' Titsy hung on to them all day waiting for the perfect moment to strike and now New is freaking out (rightfully so).

Lesson of the day?

Tits always knows.

ol' rhett butlah.

while chatting with a friend:

"a semi cute guy just walked into my office and i pinched my cheeks like scarlett o'hara."

classic.

You know what, George...

I'm getting REAAAAL sick of your shenanigans.

I went to a Stella & Dot jewelry party the other night which is basically a really fun excuse to get all your girlfriends together and drink wine and shop for sparkly things.

Right? Right.

Well, most of their stuff is under $50 bucks but occassionally you see a higher priced item.

So, I've had my eye on this one necklace FOREVER and have been saving my pennies so I can buy it and be soooooo super cute this Fall, ok?

Well, I show up to the party and who do I see PRANCING around and SHOWING OFF his new "faaaabulous bauble" and "isn't it to die for??!!" and "this piece found him, not the other way around, and then they just fell madly in love with each other, and isn't love GRAND??!!!!"

Yup. George.

Give me a break, George. "Just fell in love with each other???"

Barf.

You KNEW I had been saving so diligently for the Garden Party necklace and now its tainted and now everyone we know will know that YOU had the necklace first and I'll have to go around town with people whispering behind my back that, "isn't that GEORGE'S necklace???"

You jerk.

The worst part about it is that those fall colors look really great with his skin tone. Plus, look how it brings out the amber hues in his eyes.

I really hate it when he's right.

www.stelladot.com/sites/jenniferjune if you're curious.

Mark Wanka Darcy.

I went to the lake a weekend or so ago and one of our fabulous hosts prepared a most delicious meal.

We had steak, mashed potatoes and a yummy salad with tomatoes, mushrooms, avocado, the whole works.

He was trying to be adventurous with a blue cheese mushroom sauce for the steak and this is what the result was.

We had a wonderful meal of blue soup, marmalade and congealed green gunge pictured above.

Mmmmmm! Thanks Adam!

Text blessed.

These two texts came from two different people last night and as you can see, in two VERY different worlds.

Friend 1)
Can we talk tomorrow? I'm getting a crash course in characteristic curves of light.

Uh, crash course in what? Nerd alert.

Friend 2)
Shane as$hole! Hate him only peeps here and tried to dance obn booth wuld not let me.

Followed by:
Urh summertime by fresh
pronce...really???

Is that even English???? Remind me to check on her hangover today.

That's it. For some reason those stark differences struck me as really funny last night. Booze hound or dork, I don't discriminate.

Unless you're short. And then, forget it. Deals OFF.