Miss Butler wants to see you :-)

And then there is this:

Good Ol' Fashion-ed Fun.

Emphasis on the fashion.

Ain't nothing like hanging out with the creative directors and CEO of my favorite fashion label at a gay bar while a shirtless cowboy serves me Corona and a gaggle of men in tank tops butcher "Summer Loving" on karaoke night. 

It was exactly how the fairy tales described it. 

Its like they always say, "You never know when you'll find yourself shamelessly begging for a job to a bunch of Italians who don't understand you while flannel-clad women belt out "I Kissed A Girl", so always be prepared."

Such a cliché. 

another sign its time to move out - part ii

two very obvious hookers going to my neighbors apartment at 8:30am this morning.

,,,,  ,,,,
( . )( . )
______

picture of health.

lunch.

i think my diet is going splendidly, thankyouverymuch.

Work Beer.

4:45 pm
M.J.

Always a good decision.

Happy Freedom Day, inmates!!!

Fireworks for the 4th!
(Hey, atleast its still July)

Things are just slower in the clink, that's just how it is.

nice little sunday.

what was supposed to be a quick jog around the lake turned a nice morning chatting with this fellow.

he stumped me with one one silly question while i walked by his advice booth...two jokes and thirty seconds later he pegged my current situation down to the finest detail.

two and a half hours later i made a friend for life. too cool.

Eeep!

so, i bid on this: i won't know if i got it for a couple of days, but the possiblity is SO exciting and has me jazzed for days! i have no idea where i'll go...what i'll do...what i'll see...but i don't care.

P.A.T.

Last week I found myself melted into my couch beyond all hope of ever being vertical in my apartment again.

As I lay there, too lazy to actually get up and cross the 20 feet from my couch to my kitchen, I found myself throwing heavy objects at my fridge and willing it to topple over and maybe, just maybe, a cold, refreshing beer would just happen to roll its delicious and happy little self to my limp, parched hand.

It was at that point that I realized if I had a child or a dog then they could get me that beer.

Suddenly a lightbulb went off as to why so many of my friends were procreating.

I get it!

First things first. With a soberingly sober and lethargic gerbil at the wheel, I started thinking of what names I could call this future beer-fetching prodigy. It would have to be something adventurous and bold, strong enough to remove a cork yet malleable enough to do my bidding.

It was then that I came up with Ponce Awesome Thompson. That's right.

Lemme esplain. No, lemme sum up.

Ponce - Named after Juan Ponce De Leon, seeker of the Fountain of Youth. If the Fountain of Youth isn't code for "frosty beverage" then I don't know what is. He was an explorer and an innovator. Sure, he might have failed in finding the Fountain of Youth but dammit, he tried. As a mother, all I will ever want is for my future dog/child to try (and never ever fail). Mama's reasonable.

Which brings me to the middle name. Awesome. A small guarantee of infamy and disillusionment, every mother's dream.

And then there is Thompson. And, well, Thompson just seems so sensible and grounded. (Insert a British guy with a long moustache and bowtie nodding in agreement). See? I am not a monster, thankyouverymuch.

So, that's it really. Motherhood sounds like, soooo amazing.

What?

You know you're all, "Ponce Awesome Thompson is the best name EVER. Why didn't I think of it???"

And I'm all, "I know. Dibbs".

(gasp!)

Dibbs is a great name too!