The Essex's Last Stand

My apartment has decided to battle me this last and final week:

• The shower refuses to drain in a timely manner.  It scoffs at Drain-o.   
• The toilet (unprovoked, mind you*) has decided to simply swirl the toilet paper instead of actually flushing it away.
• My phone is a static nightmare that refuses to hold a charge.
• Ronald, my creep-o neighbor, has clued in about the move which prompted him to get wide-eyed, stare into space and then walk off in a daze with his two hyena-like canines.  Uh, let's just say I am not staying at the apartment during the move because of Ol' Creepster Ronnie.  
• And it is taking me twice as long to go through eight years of junk.  Its like running in mud.  I just cannot get out fast enough.    

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Come on, Essex!  Don't fail me now!


*Come on.  Like I would post if it were gross.  I am a lady.